C is for Confessions

The other day I was listening to a song by one of my favorite artists and she asked the question, "What if we were real?"  I thought about that and I started thinking about the moments I've had in life where I've been "real".  I can't think of a single time I put myself out there and didn't get a response from someone who struggled with the same things I did.  I don't think we are really all that different when it comes down to it.  We all struggle in life and many of us struggle with similar problems.  You may wonder what this has to do with my thankfulness list.  Well, today I am going to be "real" with all of you and be thankful that someone out there no longer feels alone in the things they struggle with.  So, here it goes....

- I have a big mouth and I often say things that hurt people (most of the time it is unintentional)
- I yell at my toddler.  I try not to, but I sometimes get so flustered that I can't control my emotions.  The worst part is, sometimes I'm not even flustered at her.  She gets the overflow of things that are not her fault at all.
- I say that I am a Christian but when I really look at my everyday life, I'm not sure there is much evidence..
- There are some days when I just want to be completely and utterly selfish.... and there are some days that I am.
- My marriage gets pretty rocky sometimes.
- I am pretty obsessed with my physical appearance and it often dictates my mood.
- I wish we had more money.
- I want to be closer with people and have deeper relationships with friends but I don't want to bother people and I'm afraid that I may try to push people into friendships that they would rather not be in.
- More often than not, I feel like a terrible parent.
- I have no idea how to be a parent.  Some mornings I wake up and panic because I have no idea what I am doing.
- I often feel that people are constantly judging me and that I am failing miserably in most areas of my life.
- I am the baby in my family and I hate failing at anything because I feel like the only one in my family who does.

So, there you have it.  If you have ever felt any of those things, you are not alone.  If you struggle with other things that I haven't listed, I probably struggle with them too but was too embarrassed to list them.  The reality is that I am so completely and utterly human.  Everyday I wake up and hope and pray that I do things right.  But, as doom and gloom as this might sound, there are so many bright and wonderful moments in every single day.  Every morning my husband kisses me goodbye before he leaves for work.  My kids wake up and smile at me like I am their favorite person in the whole world.  The sun come in my living room window and fills my house with sunshine.  My kids hug and kiss me.  I talk to at least one good friend everyday.  I get to spend all day at home with my kids.  I wake up and don't have to worry about how to keep my kids safe, clothed, fed or sheltered.  My head hits the pillow every night with the knowledge that I am loved.

So, I am human.... but I think that's ok.

B is for Buddies

Today I am thankful for the wonderful little buddies that my kids have.  T doesn't know his little friends all that well yet but L loves all her friends.  She talks about them all day long, she draws pictures for them and she asks to call them to let them know when she poops in the potty.  I am so thankful for her wonderful friends and their families.  I am very blessed to have good friends who had kids around the same time as I did.  I know that her and T's little friends will be in their lives for a long time cause I sure want their mom's to be in mine.