It's Tough Being a Parent

I doubt there is anyone in the world who wouldn't agree that being a parent is the toughest job in the world.  Everyday you need to learn and adapt.  It tests your patience and it calls out your selfishness.  There is never a moment that your child isn't on your mind and that alone is exhausting.  You have to fight with your mind to not think about all the things that could go wrong.  You have to trust that God is there to take care of your kids when you cannot.  Everyday you are asked questions that you have no idea how to answer but you have a little face staring at you waiting for the endless knowledge that you are supposed to have.  On the bad days you find yourself holding your child wondering if it is time to take them to the hospital and on the worst days you find yourself holding them wondering if what they faced that day will haunt them for years to come.  Sometimes it is stressful figuring out what type of first aid to administer to the latest boo boo and sometimes it is terrify trying to explain why those kids laughed at them and broke their little heart.  Then there are the moments when you have to explain things like pain, abuse, and death to little minds that cannot stay innocent forever.  Why are my friend's mommy and daddy not living together anymore?  Why do I need to stay away from strangers?  What does it mean when someone dies?  Why did those girls laugh at me? 

Sometimes being a parent means having your heart screaming at the world wondering why.  Why does life sometimes hurt?  Why don't I have the answers for all the questions my kids ask?  Why do I sometimes feel overwhelmed?  Why do I always seem too busy to enjoy the moments that keep passing away far too quickly?  Why can't this parenting thing be easier? ..........

........ Am I a good mother?

To all the moms out there who do not have it all together, yes, you are a good mother.  A good mother loves her kids.  A good mother has sleepless nights wondering about her kids.  A good mother gets food on the table even if it is mac and cheese for the fifth time this week.  A good mother hugs her kids when they need it.  A good mother sometimes has to tell her kids that she does not have the answer to their question.  A good mother doesn't always have everything on her Pinterest page completed ;)  A good mother simply. loves. her. kids.

What prompted this?  A car ride.

T:  Mommy, I dropped by airplane!
Me: Sorry buddy but you will have to wait until we get home cause mommy can't get it while we drive.
L: Here T, you can have my teddy bear.
T: (takes the bear and snuggles it close)
L: Mommy, I gave T my bear because sometimes it is better to think about others before yourself.  Look how happy my brother looks, Mommy. (big smile on her face)
Me: (tears) 

Perhaps I might be a good mom after all..... I bet you are too.

Purge 2013: Part 2

I have now tackled and conquered the kids bedroom closets.  Oh my, it feels very good.  I took out all the clothes that no longer fit T and packed them away for T2.  I decided to try something new.  Instead of putting the clothes in boxes marked 0-12 months or 12-24 months I decided to instead put the clothes in boxes marked sleepers, shirts and pants.  This way when I dig though the pile of pants to find all the 6-12 month pants I know that once I reach a pair that is 18 months I don't have to dig any further.  Does that make sense?  I think this will work much better than sorting through boxes of assorted clothing items.  In addition to this, I also sorted all the clothes that are too small on L and T2 and packed them away in boxes to bring to the consignment store.  I am quickly realizing that three kids can get a bit expensive so I am going to try and make some of my money back from their clothing and baby items that T2 is quickly growing out of.  It feels so good to know that once T2 is done with something I can get it out of my house rather than having to store it for an indefinite amount of time.  That is the ultimate purge :)

So, here's a little sneak at the closet organizing.  I could not bring myself to take pics of what they looked like before I cleaned them so you will have to just take me at my word when I tell you that this look WAY better.

First is L and T's closet.  I must admit that it looks pretty tidy because most of their clothes are in the dirty laundry basket.


Summer clothes are packed away in a box.  Also, each of the kids have a Memory Box that we put special things in that we think they will want to have one day when they are all grown up.


Next is T2's closet.  This little boy has a lot of clothes.



I know that I already posted about the basement but I didn't get good "after" pics.  So, here is before...


.... and here is after.

Another before.....

 

..... and after :)



Yellow Day

I had a superstar mom moment this morning. That's right, I was a superstar.  I figure I spend so much time and energy feeling like I never quite get the mom thing right that I decided to take a moment and celebrate that I did good. 

Today was yellow day in L's kindergarten class.  This morning she decided to stay in her pj's until about 11:30 (she is in afternoon kindergarten).  When she went to get dressed she realized that none of her clothes are yellow.  Seriously, none of them!  So we went on a hunt for something yellow to wear.  We were coming up empty until, out of desperation, we decided to look through my drawers.  Well, I did indeed have a yellow shirt however, a medium adult shirt is beyond big on a thin five year old.  So, I got out the old needle and thread.  With 20 minutes to work I managed to alter the shirt to make it look kinda like a little dress.  Not too bad.  And L was thrilled :)

I thought the back looked super cute!

The Great Purge of 2013

I will admit that I am a bit of an organization addict.  When our house is organized and tidy I feel at peace.  Well, with three kids I am finding that it is getting very cluttered around here.  Christmas is right around the corner and with our wonderfully generous families living so close that means more toys, books, games, and clothes will be entering our home in about a month and a half.  So, I have decided that this year, before I put up any Christmas decorations, I am going to do a big household purge.  I am getting rid of anything and everything that has not been used in the last few months and I am organizing everything that is staying.  Is it sick that I am SOOOO looking forward to doing this and consider it really fun??

So, I started this epic journey on Friday with our basement.  Because we live in a split level house we only have half a basement and it is divided into two parts: the playroom and the laundry/storage room.  I started with the playroom (mostly because I am actually a little afraid of the storage room).  It was the perfect time since the playroom was an absolute disaster.  L helped me sort though the toys and decided what to keep and what to give away.  I must say that I am very proud of the way she does not hang onto things.  She was more than willing to part with toys she hasn't played with in a while.  In fact, she was so good at it that I had to convince her to keep a few things.  That kid has such an amazing heart to share her things with kids who don't have toys or clothing (more on that in another post).  So, after an entire day of cleaning, here is the final outcome.


Before

After

Under the stairs closet before



After :)

So the basement cleaning led to cleaning the kitchen office area.  This area seems to always be a disaster since we just dump stuff on the desk.  Hopefully I have now created a space for things that normally just sit all over the place.

Before.....

 

.....and after :)

So, that was the first installment of the great purge week.  Oh, ya, did I mention that I'm going to attempt to do all of this in a week :)  So excited! 

The Darkness

This time of year is often difficult for me.  I do not do well with the days becoming shorter and nighttime feeling endless.  Darkness at dinner time and darkness at breakfast.  I often joke about wanting to live in a glass box because I love the sunshine so much.  The darkness was never my friend but I really began to notice it when L was born.  She was born early October and she was very colicky.  She would cry all day and all night.  I would pace in her nursery holding her all night long and cry my eyes out.  During the day I could handle it but as soon as the sun started to go down I would get a strong sense of dread that would come over me and I would begin to shake, feel like I was going to vomit, and, of course, start to cry.  That was probably one of the most difficult times of my life.  When baby #3 was born at the beginning of September this year I began to feel that feeling all over again.  T2 has been a very good baby since he was born but when you are tired and you have no idea what your night is going to look like and you have two other kids who are going to wake up bright and early the next morning, you can't help but feel a little fearful.  Thankfully this time that dreadful feeling passing by the time T2 was only about three weeks old.  I don't know if it was just because I was able to fall into motherhood easier since it was the third time or if it was just a result of a lot of prayer but I am SOOO thankful that feeling is a thing of the past.  So, this year I have decided to embrace the darkness and look for some positives in it.  This is what I have come up with so far.

10 Reasons to Enjoy Short Winter Days
1. The kids no longer wake up at 5:00AM with the summer sunshine.
2. You can trick the kids into going to bed early.  This will probably only work a little while longer since I'm sure L is going to be able to tell time very soon.
3. Sitting by the fire is much cosier with the flames glow in the darkness.
4. Oh, Christmas Tree.  Nothing like the twinkle of a Christmas tree in the darkness.
5. Along those same lines, the outdoors look so incredibly beautiful when all the Christmas lights are up on the houses.  We are fortunate to live on a street where lots of people put up Christmas lights on their houses and outdoor trees :)
6. Romantic cuddles.  Come on now, cuddles on the couch with the hubby do seem a little more romantic when the lights are dimmed. *wink, wink*
7. Snow falling.  There are few things more beautiful than watching the snow fall under a streetlight.  I will admit that the beauty is lost if it is still happening in April.
8. Cosy sweaters.  A warm winter sweater seems so much more comfy when worn on a cool, dark winter evening.... plus it will cover that left over baby belly still hanging around ;)
9. Skating.  Ooooooh, I LOVE ice skating on a winter evening.  The twinkling snow and the strange muted silence that the snow brings.  Perhaps I am a little biased to ice skating since that is how my hubby proposed 10 years ago :)
10. Snow.  If you don't live in a place with snow then you might not know what it is like to walk outside on a winter night when the moon is shining and it feels almost as light as day as its light reflects off of the snow.  It is at that moment that it truly feels like a winter wonderland.

So, on these ever increasingly shorter days be encouraged that there are reasons to enjoy the darkness.

Dear Moms,

Dear mom who is eagerly awaiting her baby's arrival, get as much sleep as you can and go out on as many dates as you can with your husband.

Dear mom who is feeling those first labour pains, remember that it only lasts a day and you will be holding your baby in your arms and he will be even more beautiful that you have imagined.

Dear mom who is getting ready to leave the hospital, don't worry, you will do fine.

Dear mom who is awake in the middle of the night for the 6th time, you are not the only one awake right now.  All over the city there are other moms up feeling the same thing you are.  Take a few minutes and pray for all of them.

Dear mom who is struggling with breastfeeding, hang in there, it does not always come naturally and yes, it can hurt.

Dear mom who is not able to breastfeed, welcome to the club.  You are not the only one.  Your baby is still loved and will still grow up to be a wonderful person regardless of how he was fed.

Dear mom who tears up every time you hear the phrase "breast is best".  Sometimes it's not.  Let the guilt go.

Dear mom who's baby is screaming all the time, again, welcome to the club.  I've been there and I can promise you that it will eventually get better.  Remember, your baby loves you but she is unsettled in this new world she has found herself in.

Dear mom who's friends are all telling you how to get your baby on a sleep schedule.  Do what feels right for you and your baby.  Schedules are good, but not at the expense of your sanity.  Just survive those first few weeks without putting extra pressure on yourself.

Dear mom who feels like crying all the time, we all feel like that.  A human being just came out of you!  Don't be afraid to share how you feel with other moms because we all want to be there to support you.  If you feel like you need some help, there is no shame in asking for it. 

Dear mom who feels like your life was abruptly taken away from you, go ahead and mourn that old life.  It will never be the same.  But, once you are done, embrace this new life you have because it too will be wonderful even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

Dear mom who feels like you have no idea what you are doing, welcome to motherhood ;)  You will most likely spend the next few decades feeling like you are making things up as you go but don't worry, eventually you get used to that feeling ;)

Being a mom is hard but it is also the most amazing journey you will take in life.

Our first family picture.  Not the most flattering but it was a monumental moment.  Our family finally feels complete :)

The End of an Era

I am so happy that L is enjoying her first week in kindergarten.  She is so ready for it!  I am very proud of the little girl she has become and I can't wait to see how so grows and matures throughout the school year.  However, as I watched her walk into the doors of the school this week the reality of what was happening hit me like a ton of bricks.  When she walked in those doors it truly was the end of an era.  It's the end of my time as a mom with little kids.  We are no longer in the toddler years with endless days of play dates and naps and we are no longer in the preschool years with school only two mornings a week.  We are now in the school days with school every single day..... for the next 12 years.  Our schedule is no longer our own.  We can no longer take the entire day and do whatever we feel like.  I do love schedules and the stability they provide however, until this week, I made the schedule, not someone else.  Life is truly moving on and my kids really are growing up.  It makes me tear up a little.... or a lot.  I found myself several times this week wanting to yell, "Stop!  Time, stop moving forward so quickly! Let me go back, slow down and truly enjoy those years just like everyone told me to.  I took it for granted that I would have endless days to enjoy.  I wished them away too fast!" But, no matter how much or how loudly I yell, Time stops for no one.  It's time to pick up those broken pieces of my heart and put them back together again so that I can soak up this stage of life so I don't miss any more than I feel like I already have.

First day of Kindergarten

L beside her apple tree