I never want to complain about my kids. I am blessed to have all three of those beautiful little miracles but..... just because I'm thankful for them doesn't mean that life suddenly becomes easy. Today is what I call a "drowning day". This was one of those days where I feel like no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to keep up with life or accomplish anything. My "to do" list feels endless. This is not a list of projects I would like to do, these are things that I have to do. Things like grocery shopping, washing the peed on sheets, emptying the Diaper Genie before we all throw up from the smell. Oh, and laundry. Now I'm not talking washing clothes and then folding them nicely and putting them away. I'm simply talking about getting them clean in a heap at the bottom of the basement stairs. At least we have clean clothes.... good luck finding your outfit in that heap..... and don't look at me if it desperately needs ironing. Seriously, next time you are with any one of my family members take a look at our clothes. Guaranteed we will be wearing something wrinkled. I am not proud of this. I am not proud of the fact that most of them time our laundry does get folded is because my mom was over watching the kids and she folded it for me. My kids already know the drill when I tell them Grandma is coming over. We go into code red cleaning mode. My daughter will run around the house putting things away saying, "we have to clean up before Grandma gets here otherwise she'll have to clean the whole time she's here!" I will admit, while hanging my head low, that sometimes when I know my mom is coming I'll drop a few things off my endless "to do" list because I know that she will help me out by doing them without me even asking. Does that make me a bad daughter? Sigh. Some weeks I don't even care if it does because, truth be told, I am exhausted about 98% of the time. I don't think my hubby or myself have had more than five hours a sleep per night for the last few weeks.... and, no, those five hours are not in a row. They are broken up between one kid who can't sleep because they are coughing, one kid who has peed the bed, one who is teething and screaming, one who had a bad dream, one who is too hot and then one who is thirsty. I know what you are thinking, "you only have three kids and you just listed six different reasons that they wake up at night". Rest assured, all six of these things can easily come up in one night. And, on those really frustrating nights, they all come from one kid. Does anyone out there know what it feels like to wake up feeling well rested? If so, can you just explain it to me? I think the mere description might be enough to get me through a day. I can vaguely remember lazy Saturday mornings when I slept until my body ached because it had been laying down too long. My body still aches now when I wake up but that's because I did a bazillion squats just getting in and out of bed and then pulled a few muscles trying to cuddle in a small bed with a squirming kid and then topped it all off with whacking my head of the bunk bed while trying to sneak back to my bed. Oh ya, and the sound of my scull impacting the hard wooden bed (why didn't we buy one made of particle board!) woke the kid up. Commence fitting into a small bed with a squirming kid. Sigh.
My hubby and I are celebrating our 10th anniversary next month and we are celebrating by dumping the kids at grandma's house (ha ha ha ha ha *see paragraph above to understand laughter) and staying at a hotel for the night. We were able to get an early check-in at the hotel. I don't know about you but in my younger years I always imagined checking into a hotel with my husband and ripping each others clothes off the moment we arrived (sorry if you're reading this mom..... and my husband's mom.....) but when we found out we could get an early check-in we were both excited because we could take an afternoon nap! And, no, nap is not code for anything. We just want a few hours of totally uninterrupted sleep so that one of us doesn't fall asleep during dinner. Isn't that romantic?
I think that pretty much sums up this sleep deprived rant.... plus I can hear another kid waking up coughing. Kids are wonderful and they really truly are a blessing but if you are raising some and you find yourself feeling a little overwhelmed and sleep deprived like me, you are not alone. Let us moms unite as we daily take up our battle with our cups of coffee as our sword. We will win this battle and one day we will realized that we are drinking less coffee and getting more sleep and that our kids have turned into strong, independent, confident, smart and compassionate adults because we never gave up. Never give up. Next time you run into a friend who's a mom give her a hug and buy her a cup of coffee and remind her that she is not alone. Remind her that there a millions of us all over the world who feel just like her. And remind her to look her little miracles in the eye and remember that it's all worth it.