One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days that just beats you up?  Those days when your toddler seems to yell about everything.  Those days when your big kid does something to make you burst into tears and then giggles.  Those days when your baby doesn't want to nap or decides to wake up from his nap when you are in the middle of something you have been trying to get to for weeks. Those days when you cannot even go to the bathroom without someone coming in and asking you for something. Those days when you are trying to clean the house and it seems to be getting dirtier as you are working.  Those days when you realize that you have much to do and have no idea how you are going to get it done.  Those days when you feel like everyone's servant.  Those days when you are frustrated and take it out over the phone on your spouse who is at work and who really hasn't done anything wrong.  Those days when you realize you haven't been out without your kids for weeks.  Those days when you feel invisible.

I love being a mom.  I love being a wife.  I count it a huge blessing that I get to stay home with my kids.  But some days I feel like I have somehow lost myself.  On days like this there is only so much I can do about it.  I cannot leave and sit peacefully at Starbucks by myself.  I cannot ignore the needs of the three little people living in my house.  I cannot demand that my husband come home from work and help me.  The only thing I can do is pick myself off the floor, wipe the tears away, take a big breath, say a prayer of desperation, and keep going.  I'll keep going because, even though I feel like I have lost myself, one thing I have not lost is the freedom to choose happiness in moments that otherwise can be overwhelming.  I can do it.  And, if you ever find yourself in a moment like this, you can do it too.