It's OK, right?

Well, I am 32 weeks into this pregnancy and I think I've been doing pretty well so far.  I've re-done our kitchen, I've been the fundraising coordinator for L's preschool, I'm still coordinating our WM group at church, and I'm still working out four times a week.  I'm determined to not be a wuss this time around like I was with the other two.  When I was pregnant with L there were several complications throughout my pregnancy so I was very hesitant to do anything.  With T things went really well and I was much more relaxed during those nine months but I really let myself be lazy (I am still wearing at least 10lbs from that pregnancy).  This time around I am very relaxed about the health of our baby and I've been feeling pretty good.  I don't know if I feel so much better than my other pregnancies or if with two kids running around I have no choice but to feel good and go on with life.  However, in the last few days things have been changing a bit.  I'm exhausted.  I wake up after sleeping all night and I'm still tired.  This morning the weather was beautiful, my kids woke up happy, and I fell asleep on the couch until almost 10:00am.  By the time I got up, fed the kids, had a shower, the morning was almost over.  With such a short summer I feel the need to enjoy every single moment of summer and missing an entire morning filled me with a lot of guilt.  But then I thought about it for a while.  It's ok to have a morning every now and then where I'm too tired to do anything, right?  My kids were happy to play in the family room while I napped and they never asked to go outside and didn't even seem to notice that they missed a morning outside.  So, I think I need to let the guilt go because I have a sneaking suspicion that this will not be the last of these types of mornings.

Going Crazy

I fear that I may be going a little.....er.......a lot crazy.  This pregnancy seems to be sending me over the edge from time to time.  When I was young and pregnant with L I managed to keep my emotional state stable despite some rather scary circumstances.  I also managed to keep my wits about me when I was pregnant with T but this baby is making me crazy..... or maybe it's the other two who are making me crazy and I'm just assuming that it's this baby ;)  Have you ever found yourself super upset about something and getting super upset with your spouse and the entire time you have a running commentary through your head saying, "Why am I so upset?  This really isn't a big deal?  Stop being so upset?  Why isn't he telling me to snap out of this??"  My poor husband has to deal with me like this on a weekly basis.  Bless his patient heart!  I had a little....um....well.... I guess we could call it an episode on Sunday.  I burst into tears over something, I'm not even sure what and my husband responded by planning a date night for us on Tuesday.  My mom even surprised us by keeping the kids overnight so I could have a little time in the afternoon and the next morning to myself.  I'm not sure if my dear hubby mentioned my craziness to her but I sure do appreciate what both of them did this week.  I am going to attempt to get a little more sleep in the next few weeks and go out in the evenings for some time to myself (calling all my wonderful girlfriends, let's go out!) to try and keep the craziness at bay before I drive my poor husband to the loony bin.  Oh pregnancy, why art thou so unhinged. lol. Off to bed I go ;)

Let the Sharing Begin

Well, it may be that time.... time for the kiddos to start sharing a room.  I will admit that I have been dreading this.  One is a wonderful sleeper but the other is not so good.  Because T just turned two I was hesitant to get bunk beds so we decided to go with two low profile beds.  I picked them out months ago and then dragged hubby to IKEA to pick them up.  Hubby spent a Sunday afternoon assembling one of the beds with two little "helpers".  Once the first bed was assembled we quickly realised that two beds were not going to work in that bedroom.  Once both were in there would only be about 6 inches between the beds.  Hmmmm, not exactly ideal.... or functional.  So, my poor hubby had to dis-assemble and drag the beds all the way back to the store.  Poor guy spent the entire day dealing with those beds with nothing to show for it. 

After that little "episode" I finally admitted that bunk beds may be our best option.  So, off to the store we went.  After looking around we found an amazing deal on a nice set of bunk beds that also split apart to become two separate beds.  So, each kid got a new bed in their room.  Here's my theory: we will teach T to sleep in his bed before we move him in with L so that neither kid will lose sleep.  Well, that theory is seriously being tested and not holding up very well.  It's been two months and T is still not staying in bed very well.  Bedtime lasts two to three hours every night.... for the last two months! Ahhhhh.  The strange thing is that nap time is going fine.  Why are kids so weird??  When he does sleep, he is sooooo adorable in his bed.  He looks like the sweetest littlest boy. (insert heart melting here).


The last week seems to have marked a turnaround in T's bedtime.  After we read him stories and give him cuddles in his rocking chair we put him in his bed and leave the room.  He then calls for us for about 10 minutes before he simply goes quiet.  When we check on him later he is never in his bed!  I found him curled up on his rocking chair once, then we found him on top of his baby gate and now we have been finding him on the floor.  When we find him we put him in his bed and he usually sleeps the entire night except for one time when he woke up and went back to the floor!

So, we have a new theory now.  Maybe sharing L's room will make him feel safe and secure enough to sleep soundly in his bed.... at least, that's the theory.  If you know me you have probably noticed that I need to re-decorate a room any time things change.  I have planned the kids new room out, bought all the bits and pieces to put it all together.  So, now I just have to find the time and motivation........

(Winter) Spring Cleaning

Ok, so, it has been a LONG time since I've posted anything on my blog.  Yikes.  I basically skipped writing anything during the winter months...... oh wait, it's still winter here!  Yesterday I was feeling so excited at seeing lots of grass in our yard and the melt seemed to really be gaining momentum.  Then, I woke up to snow everywhere and it is still snowing here at 3:30 in the afternoon.  So I figured I could cry (that was my instinct) or I could just make the best of it.  Thankfully I started my day off with a good workout and healthy breakfast so I had a positive attitude ;)  I've decided that I am going to do some spring cleaning while I wait for spring.  Every day I am going to tackle one room in the house and clean it, get rid of anything we don't use, fix anything that is broken and organize the heck out of it.  I've been wanting to do this for a while but I needed a little push.  I guess 5cm of snow in mid-April was that push.

So, today I tackled our en suite and bedroom.  I am embarrassed to say that I took out two kitchen sized garbage bags full of stuff we don't use, boxes left behind, and broken things out of our tiny little en suite.  Seriously, this room is SMALL!  I am amazed at how we can hoard things.  It feels sooooo good to get rid of all that stuff and know that the only things left in that room are things that we use on a regular basis.

Then I moved on to the top of our dressers and my night table.  Those things were not too bad but I was too afraid of my husbands night table to even go near it.  Seriously, I will not even post a picture because it is so disgusting.  The two drawers are overflowing with everything from books to scrap paper to batteries to...... well, I'm not sure what most of it even is.  Guess what he's doing tonight ;)  Hopefully there is a hockey game on the radio that he can listen to because I think he may be there all evening.

Tomorrow is a busy day so I don't think any cleaning/organizing will get done but I think I may tackle the linen closet and the kids bedroom closets the next day.  Wish me luck!

Then and Now

I had an interesting thought today..... at least it was interesting to me.  Those of you who follow me on facebook will know that I have been obsessing about my 30th birthday that occurred over the weekend.  I have come to terms about leaving my 20's.  It wasn't that I thought 30 was old or that I thought I would feel different, it was just that my 20's really were very good to me.  In my 20's I met my husband, bought our first house, got my Commerce degree, got married, got my first real "grow up" job, went back to school and got my Education degree, bought our second (and current) house, brought my baby girl home to that house, bought a minivan, and brought my baby boy home to that house as well.  In my 20's I became a university graduate, a wife, and a mother.  I learnt to be comfortable in my own skin.  I laughed a lot and cried a lot.  I grew up.

On my birthday I began to think about where I was when I entered my 20's.  I was living across the world, literally, in Australia.  After a horrible few weeks of homesickness I began to settle in.  I began to get to know my wonderful roommate (Nat, you really were wonderful!). I began attending an AMAZING church that I would never have left except that the commute every Sunday from Canada would have been way too difficult ;)  The people always greeted me with such love and enthusiasm that it felt like my home.  I also began my classes at Deakin University and got to know a wonderful man (also from my church) who led the Christian group on campus and always kept an eye out for me (thanks, Daniel!).  I began making friends and then two months into my Australian adventure I celebrated my 20th birthday.  I remember a group of friends surprised me at a restaurant.  It was a loving gesture that I really needed.  They took me to a restaurant that served breakfast.  This sounds strange but in Australia they did not mix sweet and savoury for breakfast.  My friends thought it was super strange that we would have pancakes and eggs on the same plate.  They felt like they had to try it so they took me to this restaurant.  I don't remember what I ordered nor do I remember the name of the restaurant or what most of the conversation was about.  I just remember feeling very loved after a period of time when I felt so alone in a strange country.  None of them probably know the impact that evening had on me but they made me feel loved at a point in my life when I really needed it. 

When I woke up on my birthday this past weekend I woke up to my little girl determined to give me my birthday present even though it was not even 7AM.  My husband took care of the kids and let me sleep in (after I opened my present).  We spent the day with family and friends and I ended the day sitting comfortably on the couch with my husband.  I think I am pretty lucky to continually begin new decades of my life feeling loved.

This has been quite the month!

Oh my.  Do you ever have those days where you sit down and the end of it and wonder how you are still sane?  Have you ever had an entire week like that?  How about a month?  Something strange has happened in our house since the beginning of August and I am going to blame it on my good friend Laura who had the nerve to, not only get married, but to have a super fun wedding.  I know that sounds strange but I'm only half joking.  I am SUPER excited for my good friend who just married a man she has been waiting for 30 years to meet but somehow our family got swept up in the excitement a little more than we realised.  My hubby and I were both very honoured to be asked to be in the bridal party and L could not have been any more excited about being a flower girl.  We all looked forward to the day for months and the week leading up to the wedding was busy and lots of fun as we met and spent time with the rest of the bridal party and all the out of town relatives that we have heard so much about but had not had the chance to meet before that week.  The bride and groom did an amazing job of entertaining the out of town guests (our family may have been the one exception to the "out of town" part) and giving everyone a chance to hang out and become friends.  Seriously, us bridesmaids had so much fun that we have considered having a reunion.  The wedding day was very laid back and exciting.  I loved walking down the aisle to my husband (who would have thought I would get the chance to do that again??) and I beamed as L bravely walked down the aisle, took one step onto the stage, and fell right on her face only to pop up and excitedly say, "I did it!!".  I loved watching her smile for the camera and twirl around in the grassy field with the bride.  I loved how my mom picked her up from the pictures so that the rest of the bridal party could continue on without a board little flower girl.  I loved being dressed up and fancy alongside my handsome husband.  I loved chatting with friends and dancing for hours.  I loved going home with my husband to an empty house (the kids were sleeping over at my sisters house!!) and I loved waking up to the sound of the birds instead of the sound of a crying baby.  I loved it all. 

Photo by Jennifer Lee (she was amazing!)

That's when things got tough.  After that day I had to pick up my kids, clean up my house, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, cook meals, discipline children, deal with poopy underwear, and the list goes on and on.  Now, before I go on, I really do love my life.  I love being a mom.  I love being able to stay home with my kids and on most days I really don't mind the day to day chores but after having a night of "freedom" I realised that perhaps my life had become too much about my kids and my house.  Somewhere in all my blessings I had actually lost something.  Myself.  I realised that if I wasn't a mom, I didn't know who I was.  I will always be my kids' mom.  I consider it an honour and a privilege and I will forever be grateful for those two little ones.  I love playing with them, I love the sleepy look on their faces first thing in the morning, I love watching them discover new things, I love listening to the funny things L observes throughout her day and I look forward to all the discoveries I will make with them in the years to come.  I love being a mom..... but sometimes, I feel like I miss being me.  At first I thought theses were just selfish feelings but as I thought about them some more I realised that God created Nancy.  He didn't create L and T's mom, he didn't create the preschool fundraiser, he didn't create the WM coordinator..... he created Nancy.  I may do those other things but I do them because God created me with the skills and abilities to do them and I choose to do those things but I am not defined by those things.  I am defined by a creator who does not make mistakes.  I am made by a God who has all wisdom and all knowledge.  When he created me he looked at me and thought "it is good".  So, I have decided that, starting now, in the midst of my busy but blessed life, I am going to take some time to be Nancy.  And, I've decided that is not a selfish thing to do.

My Weekly Pintrest Roundup

For a long time I fought the pressure to join Pintrest.  Finally, and inevitably, a few months ago I caved and joined.  Now, I am obsessed with doing something with all the things I've been "pinning".  So, I decided to do a weekly blog roundup of my projects inspired by Pintrest.  Some turned out really great and some made me want to pull my hair out and scream..... I may have actually done the screaming part.  So, without further ado, I give you my Pintrest Weekly Roundup....

These little "burgers and fries" were a huge hit with my nieces and nephews (as well as with a few adults).  They were super cute and very yummy.  The bun is a cupcake cut in half and the burger is a brownie.  The ketchup is made out of butter cream icing and the fries are sugar cookies.  Yumm!  My red ketchup did not turn out super well because I ran out of colour paste so it's a bit pink.  I was kind of in a hurry as well so I left off the yellow mustard icing and the green lettuce icing.  The website where I found these was awesome because she had free printables to make the little baskets to put the burger and fries in (you can't really see them in this picture) which made it even more cute.  You can see the VERY nice original version here.

Some of you probably heard me rant about Jello cookies.  These are them.  SOOOO good..... if you like Jello.  If you don't like that super tasty fake fruit flavour created by Jello then these are probably not the cookies for you.  If you do love that taste then imagine Jello slamming into ultra yummy buttery sugar cookies.  Addicting!  Here's the recipe.

I brought these Strawberry Lemonade Bars to our preschool board meeting this week.  I was surprised how quick and easy they were to make.  Even my husband, who does not eat most baking, enjoyed these.  He lit up when I came home with a few still on the plate.  They are a very summery tasting square and they are a nice alternative to squares that almost always contain chocolate (not that I mind chocolate squares!).

                                                 

This is not a picture of the Can of Dates I made but I realised that I never did take a picture of mine.  Recently I planned a wedding shower for a close friend of mine and this site inspired me to have the ladies at the shower help create a Can of Dates for the bride-to-be.  At every table there was a stack of scrapbook paper cut into squares.  The ladies were each instructed to write on the back of the cute paper a date idea for the couple.  At the end of the evening I collected all the papers and put them in a glass canister I found at the dollarstore.  I put a cute little label on the canister and gave it to the bride-to-be at the end of the evening.  There were some really great ideas that came in and it was a big hit with the bride.

One of L's preschool teachers retired this year so all the kids were asked to contribute one page to create a little going away book for her.  I am such a sucker for anything that involves hand prints or footprints and I have so many art projects with prints pinned that I just had to try one out.  L loved helping to make this.  To ensure that the prints did not come out too goopy, I decided to use a paintbrush to cover L's feet with the paint.  She laughed and laughed as I was painting.  I'm not sure if the laughter was caused by tickling or if she just thought it was so silly that I would paint her feet with a brush.  By using the paintbrush to apply the paint we were also able to give the "flower" portion of the picture two colours.  It turned out super cute and I just wish that I had made one for us to keep.  My inspiration came from here.

This was the project that made me scream.  SOOOO frustrating!  It was a good thing they turned out quite nice.  These were an end of the year gift for L's preschool teachers.  Theoretically, it's an easy project.  All you do is wrap a glass vase with pencils and tie them up with a ribbon. *#!?.  It's not that easy.  I put some hockey tape around the vases and then put some Gorilla Glue on the tape to stick the pencils to.  I thought this was a good idea because when they got sick of the pencils they could just pull them off, take off the tape and use the vase without having to scrape glue off of it.  I still think that was a good idea but getting over 30 pencils to stand upright at the same time is NOT an easy task.  After I got a hold of my temper I figured out a smart way to do the second vase.  One day I will have to put a tutorial on this blog to help anyone else who tries to do this project.  Luckily, her teachers really liked their gifts and L was very proud to give it to them.  The beautiful peonie flowers are from our garden and opened up just the day before we needed them, thankfully :)  Oh, and credit for this idea must go here.

Well, I think that may be enough Pintrest plugs for now.  Needless to say, I am really enjoying all the things I am finding and I'm sure this will not be my last Pintrest Roundup :)